Across the sea

Imani’s gaze kept fixing on the gates where Xia had still been ten minutes ago. Emotions seemed twisted inside him. One part could not be happier for Xia; he had seen her need for spirituality grow during their everyday lives and knew how joyful she would be in The Community. Yet, some other part of him could not help but feel hurt. This prickling emotion was nothing close to the occasional beatings he had received from his father or the worst illnesses he had caught on boat trips. However, it was deeper. No amount of good sleep or healing balms would ease it.

Lost in thoughts, hours flew as Imani waited before The Community’s building. Only when someone closed the doors at the rise of the night did he begin to move away. Not knowing where to go, he was pushed spontaneously toward his family’s house. How many times had he been bone-tired after the endless trips for exquisite merchandise with his father? His body knew the way, and he let it drive.

Once at the doorstep, Imani knocked gently on the door, his mind not completely focused on his actions. Only when his sister Runako opened the entry did he get a grip on himself and watch her carefully. On the outside, she had not changed at all. Worse, with the years, she looked more and more like him. It was almost suspicious. Imani had not forgotten about their unresolved dispute. Runako had fled every discussion about it. Yet, he had no strength to bring it up once more. Quietly, he entered the house.
As he went in, Runako was fixing him patiently, trying to measure the temperature from her brother’s reactions. She concluded that the atmosphere was too calm. Something was not right.

“And so, you came visiting us… alone?”

“Exactly,” Imani quickly dismissed.

“Is Xia alright?” Runako insisted.

“She is.”

“Alright, but where is she?”

“Runako, please, could we not talk about this right now? I’m spent.”

She pierced him with her eyes but asked nothing else. Imani felt relieved and went directly into the small storage to carry his bags. On his way, he examined the main room and paused.

“Runako, where are Mum and Grandma?”

At first, she did not answer and kept a wide smile on her face. She always loved to tease him,

“I will tell you tomorrow, dear brother, I’m drained. However, do not worry about them; they are perfectly fine.”
Imani sighed heavily and left for bed.

The next morning, he woke up early and went outside for fresh air. As he left, he crossed his sister’s path, who finally told him where his mother and grandmother were. Every year, their mother, Nyasha, would leave the house for two months and visit her younger sister living in a nearby village outside Gungara’s walls. In the meantime, she would provide assistance to the people in that village, as they had fewer healers than the capital city. Obviously, she aligned her prices with the area. Sadly, this yearly trip had never been a good idea for her business. Yet, when her husband was still alive and embarking on long trips, Nyasha had started those two-month expeditions once Runako had been old enough. She also brought her mother, Maita, with her so they could both visit her younger sister.

Part of Imani felt reassured to know where his family was, another wished to see them sooner than in a few weeks. His mother had always been a great comfort in moments of doubt. Right now, he was on his own and had to manage for himself.

Runako looked at him oddly. Imani was gazing at the ground, not answering his sister’s question. She wore a worried expression while waiting for him to get back. As he did, he prompted,

“Did you ask me something?”

“No, nothing. Go on, move, and take a stroll around the city. You clearly need one.”

And, without giving him any moment to answer, she closed the door right before him. Imani was surprised but did not object; his stomach was rumbling heavily, and he needed to eat promptly. Once in the market, he bought some wild fruits.

Continuing his stroll, he stopped in one specific spot and waited. While he stood there, he thought about Xia. He could not stop himself from hoping that she would not like The Community and leave before the end of the recruiting period. Deeply, he knew how futile and useless those thoughts were, but they came back… again and again, rummaging nonstop in his head.

Then, after some time, another idea gradually bloomed in his mind. His problem had two facets: either Xia could decide not to stay in The Community, or he could choose to join her. Although he had never been strongly connected to spirits as Xia was, the few times he had meditated with her had felt relaxing. At least, thanks to her, he now believed that spirits were real. Hours of discussions with her had progressively convinced him. But most of all, what else but a true connection with a spirit could explain how she had been able to renounce what they had together? This final thought made him sob while he continued to fix the gates of the Community building.

And so, one day after another, Imani roamed the streets of Gungara in the same pattern: he would leave the family’s house early, exchange a few words with his sister, words he never remembered afterwards, and walk to the spiritual order. There, he would fix the high doors of the building while thinking over and over whether he should join The Community simply to preserve his life alongside his love. Later, he would eat something random at the market before returning to his bed.

Lying on his mattress provided Imani yet another moment to be alone with his mind. Somewhere, some part of him did not wish to dedicate his life to spirituality, but a stronger part could not live an existence without Xia. Little by little, those questions grew into certainty while the final day to join the spiritual order approached. Each second of doubt had been necessary for him to make this decision. He was now sure of: today, he was leaving his family’s house to live back with Xia. She was everything to him, and he would prove it to her.

His belongings were soon packed and ready. As he pushed the front door to leave once and for all, he was surprised not to see his sister this morning. Worried, he went to her room to verify if she was alright. For once, she had not woken up before him and was still breathing loudly in her sleep. Finding it unusual for his sister to sleep late, he extended his hand and took her temperature. Her body was far too hot not to be sick. Instinctively, he rummaged through his remaining herbs and found a concoction to apply to her forehead. Then, he went to the kitchen and cooked a porridge made with a local nutritive plant called the sorghum. This meal would be easier to digest for her sick body.

When Runako woke up, he made her eat and asked her to stay in bed. She had managed to say a few words and describe how her illness had started: it began right after an outdoor meal she had eaten during the reception of some medical furniture for their mother.

Imani patiently looked after her; she did not complain about it and easily trusted her brother. Perhaps, some part of her relished those few hours while he was not far away from their house, but right next to her, comforting and helping her. She had almost forgotten that her brother could take such good care of her.

While she fell back to sleep in the afternoon, Imani stayed in her room. The morning hours had flown by in the blink of an eye for him. His mind had been solely focused on his sister’s illness. But, inevitably, his plan came back to him. Right now, he had to leave the house. If he did not, the recruitment for The Community would be over, and he would not see Xia for one entire year. His heart, as much as his mind, wished to leave and let his sister recover on her own. However, his integrity would not allow it.

The quick analysis of Runako’s condition had made one thing clear: what she had was no small fever. Even though her state had stabilized, she was far from being cured. Imani’s healer’s inner voice would not let him go and risk his sister’s life. Xia herself would never forgive him for such a choice. Realization struck him. He was not going to join her at The Community, not today, not for the next year. Soon, cries began to recover his sister’s unsteady breath.

To occupy his mind with something else, Imani focused every bit of his energy toward Runako’s recovery. At first, her state continued to decrease, going from high heat to incapacity to speak, eat, or wash herself. Imani took it all and carried for her in silence and extreme concentration. Five days after the start of her disease, she finally showed the first signs of improvement. A soft smile appeared on Imani’s face when his sister felt well enough to berate him for not letting her eat on her own. Still, Imani continued to cook and choose appropriate healing mixtures from their mother. During those shared moments, he and Runako conversed together. And this time, Imani genuinely listened to her. The better Runako felt, the deeper their conversations were.

Wishing to be closer to her brother, she opened up to him. It was not something easy to share, but she gathered her strengths and explained why she had pretended to be him while Imani was away from Gungara. For a few months, she had lived her impossible dream of becoming a merchant, even though she was a girl. Some part of her knew how wrong it was to use her brother’s identity while benefiting from their father’s desperation over Imani’s escape. And yet, she regretted nothing about it. Those days had been marvelous for her. In reaction, no judgment or strong response came from Imani. Runako was grateful for that. The next day, it was his turn to open himself spontaneously. His words confirmed what Runako had suspected for a long time: his relationship with Xia was over. Impulsively, she hugged her brother while quiet tears flowed from her eyes.

Once Runako had completely recovered from her illness, her bond with her brother had changed. Both felt more comfortable with each other. A strange relief filled their hearts as if they had waited a long time to be honest with one another. Then, an unexpected discussion moved their lives in a new direction. It all began when Imani recounted his surprising lessons with Master Yusheng, the old doctor from Shuijin,

“This man was such a weird and passionate doctor. Can you believe he almost harassed me to become his pupil? That’s something only someone like you would do.” Imani laughed at his comparison, but another detail piqued Runako’s interest.

“A man being a doctor. How can it be? Were there no women at all to heal people in this city?”

“No, that’s not it. They only do things differently where Xia is from.”

“And yet, she left such a magnificent place? Perhaps it’s a good thing you’re not with her anymore.”

Imani glanced harshly at his sister but did not respond to her words; he knew it was her way of supporting his loss.

“Xia was just like this, so determined to live her dream that she could move away from her own country without any hesitation. I’m sure she would advise me to do the same if she were here right now. Always so bravely reckless.”

Imani chuckled softly as he watched his sister’s reaction. She was not sharing his mood, not at all. Instead, she wore a strange look on her face, almost like lightning had pinned her from head to toe. Then, understanding came to Imani.

“You can’t be serious,” he answered, trying to sweep away his sister’s idea.

“Why not? There is nothing left in Zimori for you and me. Meanwhile, we both know there is another place where we could become what we want, regardless of our gender. Tell me why we would stay.”

With a sigh and his eyes going down, Imani answered relentlessly.

“You know why.”

“And so what? You will stay and wait stupidly for one year, the same depressing expression on your face every day. It’s been almost a month since you came back, and the only times I saw some fire in your eyes were when you healed me. Come on, Imani, wake up and run after your dreams, like Xia did. Can’t you at least learn that from her?”

Both seemed shocked by Runako’s words. Imani did not answer, but simply stood up and left the room. After that, they avoided each other for two days, Imani going out to walk in the city and Runako running different errands for their mother. This silence between them was as heavy for one as it was for the other.

But the third day, before Runako left the house, Imani came to her room. Too proud to say anything, she was still glad to see him making contact with her again. Imani presented his hand and gave his sister a sheet of paper with a list of relevant belongings to take for a long trip. Runako read it carefully and understood what he meant. If she still wished to leave Zimori, he would follow her. Relief engulfed her as she thanked her brother.

In the next weeks, they both explained everything to their mother and convinced her to let them go. They had asked her to come, but she loved Gungara, her patients, and her mother’s company too much. And she was right, their grandmother Maita was too old for such a trip.

Being as close to one another as they had ever been, Imani and Runako soon presented their farewells to Gungara. The Empire of Linghua was waiting for them: a place where Runako would finally become the merchant she longed for and Imani the doctor he dreamed of.